Final Post: Scenes from Employment

Yes, this is indeed my last post.  As I start my wonderful new job and life here below the Mason-Dixon line, I have come to find that I have much less time or inclination to continue blogging under this title.  It is time for a new chapter and a new blog...maybe.  

But first, a little bit about what it is like to be employed, because I had forgotten.  

I love my new job.  It feels like a vacation.  I get to go in and drink free coffee from the lunch room every morning.  There is always someone new to talk to and get to know.  But honestly, the best part is that I am respected.  No one to call me crazy cat lady, want me to meow or say the most horrific things about my volunteering.  Instead, I am seen as an experienced compliance professional with much to add to the team.  I am given the ability to run with projects that I think would be beneficial to the firm.  There is nothing or no one standing in my way or telling me to stop thinking like I am at a big firm.  

I have a great boss and great co-workers.  They all want to see me succeed and be part of the team.  It is pretty awesome.  I feel like I belong.  

As I go off and explore this new city, I am very excited and hopeful that I will make it all that I can.  

Thanks to all my readers and rest assured, perhaps someday you will encounter a blog and say....hey, I think I know that girl.  

when it rains it pours

I really wish it were raining cats and dogs (or just cats), and that I was referring to alcohol being poured.  It's not like that at all.  I mean, sometimes I spend some time in an alternate reality where there are lots of fluffy, cute kittens and it precipitates Jack & Ginger.  But that's a whole other post.

Au contrair mon cheri, it is raining ex-blokes and crazy problems, resulting in a comedic soap opera of epic proportions. 

First, in mid-July, MG reappears but I think it is only because I have a career connection for him.  But, finally after a month, I talked to him and it oddly felt like talking to an uncle which is super weird considering that we dated. 

Then, some other young 24 year old of Ugandan and Brit ex-pat status started coming round again.  Next it was an old, old, on again off again mate of mine who it is fun to hang with until he meets my friends, starts dating one and then starts acting like a jerk again.  

On my birthday eve, a super hot 25 year old who I met on the eve of his birthday three months ago, called out of the blue and now he is coming to visit me in Atlanta when I get settled in.  He even already bought his ticket.  

Perhaps my most favourite, is the hot Bangladeshi who (oh wait, now he is a FB friend and may read this post, but oh well), drunkenly contacted me with a concocted apology and explanation of why he stood me up that one night not so long ago, but long enough ago for me to have deleted his number and forget about him.  Turns out he and his bestie broke up their friendship over a bird.  He did say he thought he was going to be the guy to sweep me off my feet, so I forgave him and now I check in on his mental status at least once a day.  I am way too nice.  Fact is, I miss his easy-going, sweet demeanour.  And, he is sooo handsome.  I love how sometimes he just kind of shyly grins.  

My least favourite is this random strange person who I used to be texting buddies with (hey, unemployment is boring) and after he got to be a little ridiculous once, I decided we should not talk any more.  Well, he reappeared too, via FB.  I am seriously considering taking myself off FB now. 

I did, however, send away the very rude bloke I had drinks with in ATL who started acting like a 5 year old having a temper tantrum when I refused to let him come home with me after our first date.  Seriously, he was actually whining.  He is 34 and owns his own company.  Yet, a mere rejection sends him into a tizzy, and he peels out of the parking lot like Danica Patrick.  Then he has the nerve to call me a meanie and expect me to continue talking to him.  I really do know how to find them, eh?

Earlier this week started with friends blowing me off for quiz night on my birthday.  Then I realized my drivers license expires today and I have to take an actual driving test to get it renewed.  There weren't any test appointments available until September and no matter how much I begged, pleaded, cried and gave my sad, sad sob story, no one would make any kind of exception for me or help me out.  Well, I can't rent a rental car to drive myself down if I do not have a valid driver's license, so now I have to have my friend from Richmond drive in, drive me to ATL, then drive back to Richmond.  

No, really.  It gets even better.  So yesterday, while my license was still valid, I rented a car so that I could run errands.  Like buying cat supplies and return things I had borrowed and such.  I was supposed to return it by 5:30 last night but I ran out of time and didn't make it back, so I parked on the street because I didn't have my gate clicker to the secured lot with me.  

There is this driveway-ish thing, totally unmarked, where the trash bins are located and you're not supposed to park in front of it, so that the trash people can get the trash out on Friday mornings.  Yep, I accidentally and apparently without knowing it, parked like 6 inches over the invisible line that doesn't exist.  So, the trash people called the police who called Budget who didn't call me until...yep, the tow truck was just pulling away.  I have never cursed so loudly in front of myself.  The Budget people called at 7:46am and asked, Did the police call you yet?  Ha ha ha.  Imagine waking up to that.  I was so thoroughly confused.

The worst part is that the cops had my information and could have just bloody called me to ask me to move my car, or perhaps I would have demanded they clearly delineate the no parking zone with the requisite yellow paint.  They just wanted $150 in their deficited pockets.

So, to the impound lot I went.  Upon arrival, I presented my photo ID and Budget paperwork, but it turns out I brought the Budget brochure thing they put your receipt in, but the receipt inside was for Uhaul, from when I bought boxes.  After copious calls to try to get the darn Budget office to answer the phone, I got the guy to fax over the relevant paperwork.  Oh, and I took a taxi there because it was only 5 miles away and the bus schedule did not meet my time schedule.  Surprise, surprise. 

I was told to go look for my car in row C.  I asked if the keys were in the car.  Only after the lady looked at me like I was an idiot and stated, Well of course not, you would have them.  We just towed it from the street.... did I realize that in fact, I was an idiot and had forgotten the keys to the car!  Called the taxi again, ran and got my keys, and got the car and took it back to the rental center.  

That, ladies and gentlemen....is my week in review.  I hope you have enjoyed this comedy of errors brought to you exclusively by...me.  Of course, because this shit just doesn't happen to anyone else.  

The Importance of Being Earnest

I am told that the movie entitled "The Importance of Being Earnest" is about a set of late century something or others who avoid proper social obligations by setting out excuses and busying themselves with non-existant relatives or friends in need of tending.  Alliances are forged, and denied, based on the size of trust funds and in the end, the subjects realize the importance of being earnest.  Hence, the title.

But what exactly is earnest?  Or who is Ernest?  Well...Ernest is just a bloke in Oscar Wilde's last play and earnest is defined by sincerity and intention.  Earnest is something I find so few people these days actually have. 

I realize that in the last year I have disappeared, been depressed (severely), hidden myself for weeks, changed in so many ways and in some ways, avoided my usual social obligations by busying myself with the oh so real existence of unemployment.  In turn, friends have represented their personal level of earnestness by their own lack of involvement.  This continues.

I do not maintain my complete innocence or absolve myself from guilt in maintaining my sincerity and intention with friends.  I fully admit I was a bit of a bugger while I was unemployed.  Vast oceans of uncertainty and waves of anger and sadness overwhelmed me.  While at the bottom of my heart, I would have done anything for any friend who called upon me, the reality is that my outward behaviour betrayed my sincerity and good intentions.  There were a few months in particular that were so much worse than the recent months when I have seemed to regain some semblance of my former self.  

Now I find myself in something of a bind.  Long story short, I cannot drive myself and the cats to Atlanta and I must call in reinforcements.  But alas, who among my "friends" are earnest?  For many, I have dropped all on the proverbial dime to accommodate them in their time of need...or desire.  Mostly desire, sometimes need, but always, I am to the rescue.  I have ooohed and aahhed over the blushing bride.  I have lent my car to the carless.  An ear and a shoulder to catch tears and sadness.  Giving up my time and energy for causes greater than my own.  Reaching out, putting in touch, connecting and disbursing my care for the welfare of others.  

What does this gain me?  Snubbed, forgotten, ignored, endless nights alone with two cats.  I begin to realize this evening how much people will use you, before they discard you.  Who will really and earnestly care for you as you cared for them?  There are so few you can honestly count on.  

To those this week who honour the importance of being earnest, I honour you.  You carry me, support me, listen and do, when all others forget, ignore and disdain.  And while this evening, copious tears prevail over those who do not reciprocate my measures of earnest, it makes those who do all the more important and meaningful in my life.  Thank you for seeing the good in spite of the occasional, temporary bad. 

Insomnia

I once wrote an abcedarian poem with this title.  It is a poem in which each line starts with the next letter of the alphabet, starting with A, onwards, hence...ABCedarian.  I have no idea why that just came to mind, except that presently it is 5:23am and I have not gotten so much as a wink of sleep in the last few hours.  My allergies are bothering me, my condo is full of boxes.  My closets are almost empty and I have three silly bands on my wrist. 

It was my big 3-0 birthday yesterday.  It wasn't the celebratory event I had always dreamed and hoped for. I guess there was a reason that, after my 29th birthday, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I wanted to do for the next one.  So, I guess I didn't really have any expectations.  My biggest birthday present, and best, is that I get to start my dream job in a week!  

I am so profoundly excited about this that, even though each step of the way has been fraught (I love that word) with obstacles and general pain-in-the-assery (and I just made that one up), each time I think about getting to go to work next week Monday, I am nigh to ecstatic.  

One obstacle, other than packing, remains:  my drivers license expires and I would have to take a driving test to get a new license in my old state.  Why is this an issue?  Because I have 5 more days in this state and 4 more days of valid license and on day 5, need to rent a car to drive to my new state.  I doubt I will be allowed, so I need to figure out if I can schedule a driving test and get my license renewed, or if I can somehow finagle my way to a rental car without wasting the time and money.  I imagine this will take some amount of magic to accomplish.  Normally driving tests are scheduled a month in advance.  I need to start thinking of Plan B and C.  I may actually have plans A through H on this one.  

I suppose getting out of bed now and taking some Benadryl and starting to pack until I fall asleep wouldn't be such a bad idea.  I'm glad I started packing some things before I went to NYC.  It wasn't much, but it was the stuff in the kitchen, like glassware, that was kind of a pain.  

Other than the whole car rental thing, probably what is keeping me awake is every single task I need to remember to do before leaving.  And just the general logistics of the entire move.  Fortunately I have 17 days to figure out how to get stuff from my temp housing to my apartment as I won't have a car.  And things like dropping my car off and getting to temp housing is just going to have to worry about itself, to be perfectly honest.  Which reminds me, I should actually call MARTA to see how to get from here to there and most importantly, to work.  Ah...flying by the seat of my pants, as always.   

No place like home

So I lied in my last post.  There really is no place like home.  And it is good to be here with the cats.  Once again they were so happy to see me that they haven't given me a moment's peace since I got home.  Fiona is, in fact, licking my fingers as I type and head butting my arm in an effort to get me to pet her, followed by her pleading little meows.  Portia is laying, back to me, in front of me on the bed, as though she were a sentinel, waiting to ward off anything that could possibly harm me. 

The thing about home, though, is that you have to clean up after yourself and no one makes the bed for you.  Also, this place is not going to pack itself.  I have precisely one week to pack my entire condo.  It really isn't going to be too terribly difficult.  Just really, really boring.  I have already packed all the boxes that I currently have and a friend of mine is going to give me some more tonight.  I will also need some more tape, I think, before this adventure is over.  

I am trying to think how everything in my kitchen here is going to fit into my new place's kitchen.  It doesn't seem like I have a lot of stuff, but when you start packing it into boxes, it certainly makes it seem like a lot.  It is also easy to toss things out so you don't have to move them.  Suddenly, sentimentality goes out the window.  You really don't need to keep that red wax crayon that was your favourite when you were 7 and is now just a little nub of coloured wax.  

After a day of packing and cleaning and laundry, I am glad I have a whole week for this packing stuff.  Because every five minutes, a cat wants to sit on my lap or be petted.  

There's no place like home...

I have been away from "home" for so long now that when I do go back, it doesn't really seem like home to me.  I have been in this hotel room in Atlanta for a week now and it oddly feels like home.  When I was in NYC, wherever I happened to stay, felt relatively like home.  And now, I have my home for my first two and a half weeks in Atlanta booked and signed a lease for my next home after that.  With all this travelling and moving about, I wonder how it will feel to finally be settled in one place.  Such permanency.  

I realized the other day that I am going to be living in the state of Georgia.  How funny that sounded to me when I was thinking about it.  I am going to be a resident of the state of Georgia.  That sounds so different than, hey, I am going to move to Atlanta.  I also realized that I am basically orchestrating a 500 mile move, 4 states away, in about a week.  Seriously.  Below is my list of to do items.  Some are already done, but I guess this is a public exercise in making sure I am not forgetting anything.  But really also a huge thank you to all my friends and family who are making these things possible for me to do "on my own."  I really couldn't do it without so many people.

1. Find an apartment
2. Find a place til Sept. 7 because apartment won't be ready until then
3. Book a rental car to drive down to Atlanta
4. Pack up my belongings
5. Figure out what clothes and things I am bringing with me right away
6. Hire movers and schedule moving
7. Clean condo
8. Drive down to Atlanta
9. Return car to airport and take MARTA to temp housing place
10. START MY NEW AMAZING AWESOME JOB!!!

I really like step #10 the best.  Really, I do.  Every time I get a little discouraged about the whole process, I just think about starting my dream job on Monday.  If you wonder why I held out so long for a job...well, this is why.  

This whole transition hasn't been easy.  I wasn't sure I would find the right apartment and I found a nice, economical place in a very safe neighbourhood.  One-way rental cars seemed to be exorbitantly expensive and not convenient for me to pick up and drop off.  Then I found a reasonable one within walking distance to pick up and figured I could drop off at the airport and take the train back into town.  The next hurdle was finding temp housing that didn't cost an arm and a leg and was located near enough to public transportation.  And then, I discovered a website that does all the legwork for you, getting bids and finally found a cat-friendly place for only $22 a night, has all the amenities I need, and close to downtown and the MARTA.  

I have worried and fretted over all of these details, but in the end, I realize I haven't been brought this far just to have no place to stay.  Or a way to get in to work.  But seriously, I am ready for a breather.  

Also, I am just really writing this completely uninspired post because I am putting of my task for the day: tackling the MARTA.  So, let me stop writing and get on with it.

House Hunters: Day 3

I am very grateful for having a job, don't get me wrong.  But just getting a job doesn't instantaneously reverse or stop the effects of a lack of employment.  The longer the term of unemployment one serves, the longer the the effects last.  

Moving to Atlanta is a great new start for me and I am really looking forward to it.  I'm excited about my position, my new colleagues and a new city full of new friends, food and fun.  But it all comes at a cost.  I am leaving behind a condo with a mortgage attached and I am unsure when it will be rented.  I sold my car, so now I have to use the barely there transportation system in Atlanta.  This in turn makes a difference as to where I live and the length of my commute and affects my quality of life.  I have to live near a bus or train stop and a grocery store.  My social life will be pretty limited.  I can afford less apartment because of the mortgage and so I'll be downsizing and selling some belongings or donating them.  

I don't tell you this because it is a complaint.  I am telling you because I want you to understand what I am going through.  And if you are also a recovering from unemployment, I am sure that you know what I mean.  The excitement of working again is sometimes overshadowed by the daunting task of getting your life back on track.  

While I was job searching, I always dreamt of all the ways in which I would spend those paychecks: shoes, new clothes, a new car, makeup, dresses, going to nice dinners, a cat tree for the cats, birthday presents for my nieces and more shoes.  And that is just on the first shopping trip.  But in all honestly, it isn't like that.  

Paychecks will pay a mortgage and a rent, medical bills, my credit card balance, a new car (at some future point) and whatever other regular expenses I have.  Normal life won't exactly return for some time.  In the meantime, I am back to a one bedroom apartment with my kitties.

House hunting has presented a plethora of options.  Currently, the top contender is an 850 square foot recently renovated unit in a small, quaint place.  It is tucked away inconspicuously, just like I feel like I would like to be.  It isn't anything near the type of neighbourhood I have come to love.  In fact, quite the opposite.  I do feel a little sad, or maybe more than a little sad, that everything is about to change.  

In the midst of everything good and positive happening, there are still a lot of negative emotions like sadness, loss and loneliness lurking around every corner.  I have come to accept that these are both just part of life and particularly, part of this experience.  

It's kind of like those sweet and salty snacks...delightful.