Ready or not...here I come...

It's been six days since my last post. Many things and decisions have transpired. Or, are in the process of transpiring. It does not appear that I have to worry about the job in Chicago. They have not called. I do not think I am ready to go to grad school and therefore am in the process of deciding not to take the GRE, yet, and perhaps will go off and do something like Teach for America or Peace Corp or find a job where I can travel and do some sort of international aid type thing. I'm taking suggestions. I really <3 my significant other person. I care about him very much. He is moving to LA. I just don't know if that's a possibility for me considering that if I don't go to grad school right now, I can't just lounge around. I really need to do something big and important (not just take another corporate job). This makes me kind of sad and wonder where or how things will go. He is rather lovely though. Thanksgiving was at my place this year, with my significant other person and two wonderful friends. All in all, the food was merely decent as I opted to not be overly gourmet (expensive) and made many things with stuff I already had at home. I love making things from scratch! I have put up a Christmas tree. I am unusually excited about Christmas this year. Very likely, because it will involve being home with the kitties, opening their presents for them, eating steak for dinner and whatever else. Oh, drinking wine. This past weekend I purchased window plastic and draft guards for my two doors. I am hoping that this will make my place a little more energy efficient, stay warmer and reduce my heating bill. September-October was $75, October-November was $83 and I am guessing November-December will be around $100. We'll see.

The End.

Food for Thought

I've done my fair share of complaining, whining and general exhibition of my unhappiness with my unfortunate situation. But as I drove by the local food pantry today and saw the long, long line of people standing out in the cold, waiting for their food, my eyes welled up with tears and my heart literally ached. I all but lost my breath. Yesterday, that local food pantry served over 2,600 families with about 108,000 pounds of food. That's about 7,300 people, about half of whom are children. They were opening again today from 8am til 6pm. Americans, on average, throw away over $600 of food every year. If you had to donate the cost of every food item that you threw out, how much would you donate at the end of the year? I

Cell Phones, Chicago and California

I had wanted to attempt a daily post, but alas, my attentions were once again distracted. This time by a full weekend spent with some of my greatest friends. And, the lovely significant other person who made my weekend by hanging out with my friends and me Friday night (graciously putting up with and participating in my crazy antics--finally, someone who doesn't mind them and in fact thinks they are funny), watching the UM/OSU game with me and my friends, taking me to dinner on Saturday night, and having breakfast with me Sunday morning. He is quite lovely, indeed. On my mind today first is my cell phone. I will admit to being "one of those people" who has an iPhone. In retrospect, I wish I'd never bought it. AT&T has bad 3G coverage, I drop calls a LOT and sometimes the phone just doesn't work. Also, the data plan is $30, the 450 minutes is $39.99, unlimited texting is $20. Basic service is $89.99 a month. I now need more than 450 minutes because only one friend I talk to is in the AT&T network that I can talk to for free (I think; I suspect it somehow doesn't really work that way). I need unlimited texting because yes, I really text that much. And the data plan with the iPhone is non-negotiable. With taxes and other nonsense fees, my bill is regularly $110+ a month. So I called AT&T to see if they would work with me, as I'm unemployed and need more minutes to call employers and the answer was pretty much a matter of fact, sorry, you're screwed because you have an iPhone. I can, however, pay to have the 900 minute plan and then get the 10 top people calling feature. Basically you choose 10 people you call the most and it's free to call them. The ridiculous thing is, if I could call those 10 people for free, I wouldn't need 900 minutes now, would I? No. Damn cell phone companies lure you, then lock you in. Until I decide what to do, my heat is staying off so I can handle paying my cell phone bill. Another item on my mind is a promising looking job in Chicago. Let's do a pros/cons list: Pros:

1. It's a job. The first job I have a decent chance of perhaps getting (at least an interview with) in four months.
2. It pays roughly what I was making before, plus benefits.
3. They are a very large company, with tens of billions in assets under management, with about 100 employees...sounds like my kind of firm.
4. Since they don't pay relo, I wouldn't have to repay it if I left before a year.
5. I'd be working again. And Chicago isn't a bad city compared to other possible options.
6. Flights from Chicago to LA are probably less expensive from here to LA.
7. I could go home more often since it'd only be a 3 hour train ride away.

Cons:

1. Chicago is really, really cold in the winter. Fierce winds, snow, the whole Arctic nine yards.
2. They don't pay relocation costs; I'd have to find a really cheap, cheap place to live with 2 cats. That's likely to be relatively tiny.
3. I'd have to rent out my condo or sell it; if I sell, I'd loose a LOT of money. It might take a while to find a renter, so I'd have to pay a mortgage plus rent in Chicago.
4. Chicago has a lot higher cost of living than where I am now.
5. It's not anywhere near my significant other person.
6. I would have fewer excuses not to go home since it'd only be a 3 hour train ride away.
7. I know people in Chicago, but haven't spoken to them in a few years. I'd have to make all new friends without really knowing anybody there.

It's going to be a tough, tough choice. There are other considerations here, but they are not for your eyes. Well, it depends on who you are, but mostly I prefer to keep a few personal elements private from all the prying eyes. Last on my mind is California. It's warm, promising and my signficant other person is moving to LA in February. I guess I don't have much more to say than that. Other than, if you have a job for me in LA, I'll take it.

Difficult, Easy

My mum always says, "It's all what you make of it." Today, I'm not making much of anything. I'm perhaps making a mess of my life and seeing it as immensely difficult. Everything, everything, everything is difficult. I need to send transcripts from three schools to prospective graduate schools. Since I haven't been in school for, oh, seven years, this involved getting my new student ID number from one school as they have stopped using students' SSN as a student ID. I had to reset all my logins for each school, choose a new PIN or password. This involved calling their technology help desks. If you've ever worked for a large corporation, you know what this can entail. I have to pay $7 per transcript to another school. And, two grad schools don't want your official transcripts delivered unless you're accepted, so one must upload the transcripts. This means getting a copy, scanning and uploading. Sadly, I do have all day for this kind of inanity. Relationships are so difficult. Friendships with people who have seemingly endless amounts of money to do anything or really just don't need to think about money. $50 for a concert, $15 for the weekly quiz night, happy hours, going out to dinner, shopping.... for me, it adds up to a lot more than my meager unemployment benefits. It pains me to write my mortgage payment check every month. It hurts to see the automatic withdrawals for my cell phone, cable and electric bills. It's difficult to have a social life. I tend to lean on my significant other person who doesn't go out too much, for human interaction and connection. I like this theoretically. Mostly because I adore him and when he is present, I feel like I never need to meet or be with anyone else for the rest of my life. It's really nice to just hang out and not worry about feeling guilty because he is paying and I can't afford to pay my fair share of the time. But, I'm a some-maintenance girl. Not high, not non, just a little bit. It's difficult for me to demand and receive what I want: to go out once in a while. Because then I'm viewed as the difficult, mean, yelling, demanding person. Once every other week, a movie, dinner, a walk around the mall...why is that difficult? Difficult to turn the heat on because it will cost money; difficult to pile on layers of clothes instead. Difficult to go shopping because food is expensive; difficult to find anything to eat when you're hungry. Difficult to explain to your family why you can't drive home for the holidays; difficult to justify spending $90+ in gas money for a day with your difficult family. Difficult to have a social life; difficult to be good company; difficult to see the end of all troubles; difficult to find a job; difficult to be a good friend or girlfriend; difficult to find your self-worth; difficult to get out of bed every morning and face the day; difficult to deal with complicated people and situations; difficult to enjoy life; difficult to even cry about it all. When everything else is difficult, one thing is easy: for me to feel sorry for myself. And I do, today. It's easy for me to feel alone, completely isolated. Easy to feel powerless, to struggle. Easy to figure out who your friends are. Easy to wonder when will this ever end? Easy...to give up.

Wednesday

Sorry, sports fans, for not posting a post yesterday. I was distracted. I wonder where the time goes? The past few weeks that I have been meeting my friend and writing partner have all but flown by. I have exactly 22 days until I take the GRE...again. I really need to buckle down and study a lot more. I think I have an inflated sense of confidence, having taken it once before, six years ago. I also need to have recommendations written for grad school and complete my essays. My motivation usually kicks in at the last minute. Fortunately, I have till January 15 to complete my applications. Oh, and I need to get transcripts to the schools. So, so much to do and I really do have all day to make it happen. I just need to get on it. Feel free to send kicks in the pants. They are welcomed.

10+ Reasons to be Unemployed

I really do just love lists:

1. You can spend all day honing your cooking and baking skills. Plus, your friends will love you when you demand they eat your food.
2. What better excuse to have a cocktail party? You have no where to be tomorrow.
3. You have all day to study for the GRE and write grad school essays. Unfortunately, most of the time you're completely distracted by #1 because it's way more fun with immediate gratification.
4. You have more time to devote to texting, calling, emailing and general harrassment of your significant other. This also means more time to endlessly analyze what he really meant by, "of course I like you" last night.
5. Since you have no where to drive, you do not risk running into deer in the middle of the highway, road or wherever else you could possibly run across (or into) them with a car. This is especially notable during the fall and winter months. If you can choose when to be unemployed, not a bad option.
6. You can "visit family." This is really the unemployed person's euphemism for, "I'm not going anywhere I just don't want to be seen or bothered while I lay on the floor for days, crying my eyes out." This typically happens immediately after unemployment commences.
7. Your pets, if you have any, will L-O-V-E you F-O-R-E-V-E-R because they will think you took 10 months off to be at home with them. If you don't have a pet, now is the time to get one or two. Fish don't count.
8. You will be able to learn everything you ever wanted to know via the History Channel, NatGeo, HGTV, TLC, Food Network etc., etc. Learn how to Design on a Dime, about the lives of The Little Couple, all about Cleopatra and the end of the Ptolemic era, bats, and much more.
9. You now have time to clean your entire house, top to bottom. This is likely to only occur after 1 through 8 are accomplished.
10. No more bad bosses. Need I say more?
11. Catch up on reading; particularly books you were supposed to read for your honors classes in college. Next time you hit up an alumni event or contact your old prof for a grad school recommendation, you don't have to pretend to understand the similarities and differences in the paintings and writings of contemporaries Thomas Cole and James Fenimore Cooper, respectively.
12. You will learn extreme budgeting skills. $1000 in benefits minus $800 for rent leaves you $200 for anything else you want to spend money on.
13. You will hone your Google techniques and be able to find info, images and more on the most obscure, abstruse, obfuscated, esoteric, tenebrous subjects in the world.
14. You will have time to learn words such as obscure, abstruse, obfuscated, esoteric, and tenebrous.
15. Do you need another reason?

A picture is worth a thousand words...

Topic Suggestion 2: Blimps

Happy Friday the 13th. Today's blog post will be about blimps, by request. Thank you, AB, for the suggestion. Perhaps the most famous blimp event of all time, the Hindenburg crash, is put to shame by the instantaneous and complete destruction unemployment has on one's life. If you watch the crash, you'll see how practically spontaneous it is. You never see it coming. And suddenly, the fabled blimp is engulfed in flames and billowing smoke. Being laid off is similar. On that fateful day, you walk into the office for the last time. Ever. And what starts as a fire turns into one of the worst catastrophes in the world, as Herbert Morrison would describe the event on May 6, 1937. Well, it certainly becomes the worst catastrophe of your own life. The Hindenburg lost 36 people total lost their lives in the the crash. I'm sure I could list 36 things I've lost by way of losing my job. The list would include pride, motivation, purpose, income, direction, stability, consistency, co-workers (not necessarily a complaint).... and the list could go on. But, as did after the Hindenburg crash, life goes on. You pick up the pieces and move on with something new. The memory of it hangs in the background, like Hangar One. You are never again the same. And that's okay. Some things really do need to burn to the ground.

Topic Suggestion 1: Crazy, Jesus Freak, Vegan Cat Lady

Today my Facebook status update issued a challenge: suggest a topic, any topic, and no matter how weird, bizarre, normal or mundane, I would write about it and relate it to unemployment. Guaranteed. And if I couldn't, I'd cook you dinner. So expect to see some interesting posts over the next week or however long it keeps going. I may institute a first 10 topic suggestions, depending on how many I get. Here's the first topic: crazy, Jesus freak, vegan cat lady. Unemployment has a way of turning you into a crazy, Jesus freak, vegan cat lady. I know this from experience, in fact. Crazy...well, maybe I wasn't too far from stepping in the crazy pool to begin with. I like to say I'm quirky. My family will readily admit to my crazy. It's there; it's definitely there. I daydream about becoming Secretary of State, where diplomatic matters are conducted in my kitchen, over freshly baked cookies and a glass of milk. I mean seriously, isn't everything made better by fresh cookies and a tall, cold glass of milk? I really think we could solve a lot of foreign diplomacy issues like this. As for the Jesus freak part, I respectfully decline from using this term and prefer to say I am a person of my faith. Crazy has infiltrated every aspect of my life, unemployment having turned all my plans on end, chaos and confusion reigning supreme. Job, a current favourite Biblical character at such a time as this, was advised by Eliphaz the Temanite in Job 22:21, "Acquaint now thyself with Him and be at peace: thereby good shall come unto thee." It's a command that's been a comfort to me. But I also like Job's response in Chapter 23, especially in verse 14: "For he performeth the thing that is appointed for me: and many such things are with him." I'm up for following Jesus; I wouldn't be able to get through this difficult, Job-esque time in my life without my faith. And now I'm just waiting for the good to come to me. Vegan is theoretically easy to turn into; meat is expensive! I have not, yet, turned into a vegan. It's actually doubtful. I'm quite carnivorous. But, I can see how one would, in times of need and desperation, cut out meat altogether. But there are ways to stretch your meat, rather than eliminate it altogether. Goetta, is for example, one of those ways. But ruining a perfectly good ground beef with a filler such as oatmeal doesn't really sound appetizing either. I remain, staunchly, not-yet-vegan. I just eat more cheap, generic brand cereal and pasta. Lastly, but certainly not least....cat lady!! Did someone just call my name?! I had cats before my unemployment commenced. I have, however, become more of a cat lady, if only in the eyes of my cats (i.e. at home). I refrain from resembling or epitomizing cat lady in public as much as possible. I'm still single. My mum is afraid of me becoming the crazy cat lady who's 50 and has a dozen cats. Yes, she is genuinely afraid of this. I do like to yank her chain a bit by casually mentioning I may get another cat. But since I've been home a lot more often, I find they keep me great company. They follow me around the house, and actually, lately, have been fighting for my attentions. This can really only be interpreted as a sign that I am a true cat lady. So...let me bask in being a crazy, person of faith, not-yet-vegan, cat lady. And thank you, MJ, for the topic suggestion.

Career Transition Plan 1: Bollywood Actress

A while ago, I was modeling for a photographer friend of mine. I realised I am probably (not probably, I really am) a bad poser; it felt awkward and unnatural to pose. But, we had such an interesting conversation. I was considering changing careers, talking about blogging and writing and you know how these things go. The next thing I knew, I was talking about trying to become a Bollywood actress. This is funny for two reasons: I'm blonde and definitely not Indian. But here are my foolproof steps to becoming a Bollywood actress:

1. I will attempt to become a Bollywood actress and chronicle my experience on my blog.
2. Somewhere, somehow, someone will have an actual Bollywood connection and connect me.
3. Because I would seem exotic, I'd actually be cast in a Bollywood movie as a mute, initially, before I learned Hindi.
4. Learn Hindi, be cast into speaking roles.
5. Make lots of money, move to India and enjoy popularity as a Bollywood actress.
6. Bring Bollywood to the common people in the U.S. Enjoy success as the person who did this.
7. Never need to work every again. Continue blogging.

Like I said, foolproof. Now....anyone have a Bollywood connection?

Jobless Drumettes

They are quick, inexpensive and easy to make. And since multi-tasking is the name of the game, they marinate and bake all while you job search. 1/2 cup of basalmic vinegar 1/2 cup of brown sugar 1/2 cup of honey 1/4 cup of soy sauce rosemary...fresh sprigs or dried as much or little garlic cloves, halved, as you like 8-12 chicken drumettes Mix up all the ingredients in a re-sealable bag, shake or stir to dissolve the honey and brown sugar. You can marinade all day if you like, but at least 1-2 hours to let all the flavours soak in. Line a baking sheet (I use a jelly roll pan) with foil. Place the drums on the foil lined pan (you will free up more time for job searching or watching the foodnetwork instead of scraping off bits of carmelized marinade if you do this). Bake at 425 degrees F for about 30 minutes. Save the marinade. During the last 5 minutes of baking, put the marinade in a skillet and bring to a boil to kill bacteria. After boiling for a minute or so, remove from heat and let rest. It should be a thicker, glaze-like consistency. Brush onto drumettes when they're finished baking. If you used rosemary sprigs, don't put these in the marinade when you boil it. You can sprinkle the drumettes with sesame seeds if you like, for a nice crunchy texture. If you used dried rosemary needles in the marinade, I recommend not topping with sesame seeds as it will already be coated with the rosemary needles. *Giada, you may take credit for this recipe as it is one of yours that I slightly adapted. Readers, click on title for link to www.foodnetwork.com.

Landing a Job Like Getting into Harvard

If Samuel Sherradan is correct, my odds don't look too promising either way (click blog title for article on CNN.com). After finding myself unhappy in my accidental career, I sought the advice of career counselor David Goodenough of the Goodenough Company. He suggested that I was actually an adventurous, free-spirited type. And, he concluded, I was under-educated for my intellect. I kind of like the sound of that. He suggested the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard. I am in the process of applying and studying for the GRE for the second time in my life. But after reading this article by Mr. Sherradan, I wonder if it is better that I sell all my belongings, find a new home for the cats, and wander the world like a vagabond until the job market improves. While trying to comprehend the staggering statistic of 30 million underemployed, discouraged and unemployed human beings in the United States, I discovered what else 30 million stands for:

• 30 million iPhones sold by early 2009
• Google's Chrome browser now boasts 30 million users.
• Firefox gained 30 million users in 8 weeks
• There are over 30 million users on Facebook
• Novartis, a Swiss drugmaker, is sending the U.S. 30 million H1N1 vaccine shots
• 30 million Americans cannot get insurance

Well, I know that sums up my life: I use my iPhone to make calls to recruiters, try to find how I can get affordable health insurance, search for health clinics where I can get the H1N1 vaccine using Firefox, then I update my Facebook status using Google Chrome. Mr. Sherradan, what are my chances of finding a job and getting into Harvard?

This is MY blog, you can't lay me off!

Does that title make sense? Meh, oh well. I know what I mean. I had no control over being laid off, but I certainly have control over my blog. I like having control. I will admit to being a control freak. But a nice, not crazy, control freak. I promise.

Well, it's been about 4 months since I was let go from my job from a very small company. I feel lost, dazed, confused and unsure of myself or where I'm about to go and what I should be doing. I'm like a missing person. My motivation, self-confidence and usual aplomb in life are all missing! Where, oh where, did they go? I requested their pictures be placed on milk cartons, but alas, even the milk carton people did not think they could be found. I didn't think it could or would happen to me. I'm successful, funny, smart, hard-working and I love diversity in the workplace. I'm the perfect employee. I love to manage people and I'm really good at it. Plus, I cook and bake things to bring in to the office. 'd give Martha Stewart a run for her money. Martha, let's have a competition. I'll host a party. You host a party. Let's see whose party is better. I never wondered, til now, what unemployed people do with all that time! 24 full hours, every day, of not having to do anything! It was at first, blissful. Well, okay, that was after I spent the weekend moping, crying and angry. Yes, I was let go on a Friday morning. Everyone knows you should do it on a Monday, but whatever. Reality is slowly setting in. And so, I've been wondering, if you're unemployed, how did you know how to file for unemployment, how to fill your time, how to get support from loved ones, who would understand your plight, who could you talk to about how you feel, and aren't there any support groups for this awful disease called unemployment? And really, didn't you want to kick the hell out of something or someone? Did you? I want to hear from you. Oh, you'll be hearing from me. I'll let you know what I do from day to day. And, TLC, if you're reading, I want my own reality show about my unemployed life here in the Midwest. I can't believe you, or some other network, doesn't have a reality show about an unemployed person yet. TLC, you can be the first.