10+ Reasons to be Unemployed

I really do just love lists:

1. You can spend all day honing your cooking and baking skills. Plus, your friends will love you when you demand they eat your food.
2. What better excuse to have a cocktail party? You have no where to be tomorrow.
3. You have all day to study for the GRE and write grad school essays. Unfortunately, most of the time you're completely distracted by #1 because it's way more fun with immediate gratification.
4. You have more time to devote to texting, calling, emailing and general harrassment of your significant other. This also means more time to endlessly analyze what he really meant by, "of course I like you" last night.
5. Since you have no where to drive, you do not risk running into deer in the middle of the highway, road or wherever else you could possibly run across (or into) them with a car. This is especially notable during the fall and winter months. If you can choose when to be unemployed, not a bad option.
6. You can "visit family." This is really the unemployed person's euphemism for, "I'm not going anywhere I just don't want to be seen or bothered while I lay on the floor for days, crying my eyes out." This typically happens immediately after unemployment commences.
7. Your pets, if you have any, will L-O-V-E you F-O-R-E-V-E-R because they will think you took 10 months off to be at home with them. If you don't have a pet, now is the time to get one or two. Fish don't count.
8. You will be able to learn everything you ever wanted to know via the History Channel, NatGeo, HGTV, TLC, Food Network etc., etc. Learn how to Design on a Dime, about the lives of The Little Couple, all about Cleopatra and the end of the Ptolemic era, bats, and much more.
9. You now have time to clean your entire house, top to bottom. This is likely to only occur after 1 through 8 are accomplished.
10. No more bad bosses. Need I say more?
11. Catch up on reading; particularly books you were supposed to read for your honors classes in college. Next time you hit up an alumni event or contact your old prof for a grad school recommendation, you don't have to pretend to understand the similarities and differences in the paintings and writings of contemporaries Thomas Cole and James Fenimore Cooper, respectively.
12. You will learn extreme budgeting skills. $1000 in benefits minus $800 for rent leaves you $200 for anything else you want to spend money on.
13. You will hone your Google techniques and be able to find info, images and more on the most obscure, abstruse, obfuscated, esoteric, tenebrous subjects in the world.
14. You will have time to learn words such as obscure, abstruse, obfuscated, esoteric, and tenebrous.
15. Do you need another reason?