I really wish it were raining cats and dogs (or just cats), and that I was referring to alcohol being poured. It's not like that at all. I mean, sometimes I spend some time in an alternate reality where there are lots of fluffy, cute kittens and it precipitates Jack & Ginger. But that's a whole other post.
Au contrair mon cheri, it is raining ex-blokes and crazy problems, resulting in a comedic soap opera of epic proportions.
First, in mid-July, MG reappears but I think it is only because I have a career connection for him. But, finally after a month, I talked to him and it oddly felt like talking to an uncle which is super weird considering that we dated.
Then, some other young 24 year old of Ugandan and Brit ex-pat status started coming round again. Next it was an old, old, on again off again mate of mine who it is fun to hang with until he meets my friends, starts dating one and then starts acting like a jerk again.
On my birthday eve, a super hot 25 year old who I met on the eve of his birthday three months ago, called out of the blue and now he is coming to visit me in Atlanta when I get settled in. He even already bought his ticket.
Perhaps my most favourite, is the hot Bangladeshi who (oh wait, now he is a FB friend and may read this post, but oh well), drunkenly contacted me with a concocted apology and explanation of why he stood me up that one night not so long ago, but long enough ago for me to have deleted his number and forget about him. Turns out he and his bestie broke up their friendship over a bird. He did say he thought he was going to be the guy to sweep me off my feet, so I forgave him and now I check in on his mental status at least once a day. I am way too nice. Fact is, I miss his easy-going, sweet demeanour. And, he is sooo handsome. I love how sometimes he just kind of shyly grins.
My least favourite is this random strange person who I used to be texting buddies with (hey, unemployment is boring) and after he got to be a little ridiculous once, I decided we should not talk any more. Well, he reappeared too, via FB. I am seriously considering taking myself off FB now.
I did, however, send away the very rude bloke I had drinks with in ATL who started acting like a 5 year old having a temper tantrum when I refused to let him come home with me after our first date. Seriously, he was actually whining. He is 34 and owns his own company. Yet, a mere rejection sends him into a tizzy, and he peels out of the parking lot like Danica Patrick. Then he has the nerve to call me a meanie and expect me to continue talking to him. I really do know how to find them, eh?
Earlier this week started with friends blowing me off for quiz night on my birthday. Then I realized my drivers license expires today and I have to take an actual driving test to get it renewed. There weren't any test appointments available until September and no matter how much I begged, pleaded, cried and gave my sad, sad sob story, no one would make any kind of exception for me or help me out. Well, I can't rent a rental car to drive myself down if I do not have a valid driver's license, so now I have to have my friend from Richmond drive in, drive me to ATL, then drive back to Richmond.
No, really. It gets even better. So yesterday, while my license was still valid, I rented a car so that I could run errands. Like buying cat supplies and return things I had borrowed and such. I was supposed to return it by 5:30 last night but I ran out of time and didn't make it back, so I parked on the street because I didn't have my gate clicker to the secured lot with me.
There is this driveway-ish thing, totally unmarked, where the trash bins are located and you're not supposed to park in front of it, so that the trash people can get the trash out on Friday mornings. Yep, I accidentally and apparently without knowing it, parked like 6 inches over the invisible line that doesn't exist. So, the trash people called the police who called Budget who didn't call me until...yep, the tow truck was just pulling away. I have never cursed so loudly in front of myself. The Budget people called at 7:46am and asked, Did the police call you yet? Ha ha ha. Imagine waking up to that. I was so thoroughly confused.
The worst part is that the cops had my information and could have just bloody called me to ask me to move my car, or perhaps I would have demanded they clearly delineate the no parking zone with the requisite yellow paint. They just wanted $150 in their deficited pockets.
So, to the impound lot I went. Upon arrival, I presented my photo ID and Budget paperwork, but it turns out I brought the Budget brochure thing they put your receipt in, but the receipt inside was for Uhaul, from when I bought boxes. After copious calls to try to get the darn Budget office to answer the phone, I got the guy to fax over the relevant paperwork. Oh, and I took a taxi there because it was only 5 miles away and the bus schedule did not meet my time schedule. Surprise, surprise.
I was told to go look for my car in row C. I asked if the keys were in the car. Only after the lady looked at me like I was an idiot and stated, Well of course not, you would have them. We just towed it from the street.... did I realize that in fact, I was an idiot and had forgotten the keys to the car! Called the taxi again, ran and got my keys, and got the car and took it back to the rental center.
That, ladies and gentlemen....is my week in review. I hope you have enjoyed this comedy of errors brought to you exclusively by...me. Of course, because this shit just doesn't happen to anyone else.
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