The Importance of Being Earnest

I am told that the movie entitled "The Importance of Being Earnest" is about a set of late century something or others who avoid proper social obligations by setting out excuses and busying themselves with non-existant relatives or friends in need of tending.  Alliances are forged, and denied, based on the size of trust funds and in the end, the subjects realize the importance of being earnest.  Hence, the title.

But what exactly is earnest?  Or who is Ernest?  Well...Ernest is just a bloke in Oscar Wilde's last play and earnest is defined by sincerity and intention.  Earnest is something I find so few people these days actually have. 

I realize that in the last year I have disappeared, been depressed (severely), hidden myself for weeks, changed in so many ways and in some ways, avoided my usual social obligations by busying myself with the oh so real existence of unemployment.  In turn, friends have represented their personal level of earnestness by their own lack of involvement.  This continues.

I do not maintain my complete innocence or absolve myself from guilt in maintaining my sincerity and intention with friends.  I fully admit I was a bit of a bugger while I was unemployed.  Vast oceans of uncertainty and waves of anger and sadness overwhelmed me.  While at the bottom of my heart, I would have done anything for any friend who called upon me, the reality is that my outward behaviour betrayed my sincerity and good intentions.  There were a few months in particular that were so much worse than the recent months when I have seemed to regain some semblance of my former self.  

Now I find myself in something of a bind.  Long story short, I cannot drive myself and the cats to Atlanta and I must call in reinforcements.  But alas, who among my "friends" are earnest?  For many, I have dropped all on the proverbial dime to accommodate them in their time of need...or desire.  Mostly desire, sometimes need, but always, I am to the rescue.  I have ooohed and aahhed over the blushing bride.  I have lent my car to the carless.  An ear and a shoulder to catch tears and sadness.  Giving up my time and energy for causes greater than my own.  Reaching out, putting in touch, connecting and disbursing my care for the welfare of others.  

What does this gain me?  Snubbed, forgotten, ignored, endless nights alone with two cats.  I begin to realize this evening how much people will use you, before they discard you.  Who will really and earnestly care for you as you cared for them?  There are so few you can honestly count on.  

To those this week who honour the importance of being earnest, I honour you.  You carry me, support me, listen and do, when all others forget, ignore and disdain.  And while this evening, copious tears prevail over those who do not reciprocate my measures of earnest, it makes those who do all the more important and meaningful in my life.  Thank you for seeing the good in spite of the occasional, temporary bad.