New York State of Mind

My goal was to post every single day this month, but I failed miserably last night.  I had gone out to meet someone for drinks, had 2 Stellas and alas, I was super sleepy by 10pm.  Well, actually, raging headache by 9pm and zero energy.  I made myself stay up until maybe 11pm or so, since I seem to have this habit of thinking I am tired, but once I get in bed, can lie awake for hours and hours which is really annoying.

For those of you who know me well, you know that one of my top 5 values is connection.  Connection meaning having meaningful friendships, relationships, connections with others.  Not having this makes me sad and mopey.  Which is how I felt last week.  Bored and lonely, mostly.  So, I put an ad on craigslist for friends.  Yes, I will admit to doing this.  No, I am not ashamed.  I am also resourceful and know how to make things happen.

I figured this: I don't have hoards of money to be going out in this awfully expensive town in order to make friends.  And can you really make good friends by randomly meeting strangers while inebriated in a bar?  My shortest distance from point A (bored/lonely) to point B (having meaningful girl friendships) was craigslist, so I could state exactly what I was looking for.  So, I met a nice girl last night who was the first to respond to my ad.

She is cute and petite like me, very intelligent and around the same age, so I am happy to report that we got along well and will be hanging out again.  I keep chuckling to myself that it all seems like the same steps as in dating.

But the reason for the title of today's post is this: while I was going to meet her last night, I was walking up Amsterdam around 80th and of course I am pretty absorbed in my own thoughts, so when someone starts yelling, "Excuse me, ma'am" I don't really pay attention.  I feel invisible among all the people here anyway and really...ma'am?  Do I look like a ma'am?  It totally did not register so I kept walking.  Then I hear footsteps behind me and realize this kid is actually calling me.  I turn around and there is this 6', overweight obviously gay kid who I imagine was in his early twenties at the most, urgently calling me.

Normally, if someone were to call to me like this in the innocent and nice Midwest, I would assume I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe, or that I had just dropped something important on the street.  It was that kind of urgent, important, "Ma'am, excuse me, ma'am!"  But, with a relatively simple ensemble consisting of a dress, shoes and a zipped closed purse, I couldn't imagine that I had accidentally parted with anything, or if I had something stuck to my shoe, I could tolerate that for another block or so.  I did not think it smart to turn around and entertain this fellow.  Yet he starting walking after me, although not at a close distance.

I will take this opportunity to mention that almost every other time that I go out and about, someone is asking me for directions.  Usually a foreign tourist.  It happened yesterday when I went to grab some lunch.  I wonder if I look helpful or perhaps just non-threatening?  It is funny that I look like I belong here.  

Considering that when I turned to look at him, I did not get the idea that this bloke was a foreign tourist at all (the effeminate, perfect English was also a big hint), and thinking about my safety, I kept walking, made no motion or expression that I was about to entertain whatever it was he was going to say to me, and kept moving.  He literally jogged halfway down the block, as much as his overweight, large frame would allow him to jog.  His pleadings became more urgent.  His clothes had not indicated he was homeless and for the life of me, could not figure out what he wanted, and still, I kept walking.

He finally gave up and shouted, "Bitch" at me and at the corner, I crossed over, surreptitiously checked back over my shoulder and he was not in sight.  I have experienced in other places in the city, young gay men asking me how much I pay for a hair cut and then, they open these binders with collages of magazine pictures of hair-dos and try to ask more questions.  I still don't know the point or what they are trying to sell because I don't stop to talk but they are very persistent.  This kid didn't have one of these binders so I am at a loss for what he could possibly have wanted.  Let me rephrase, at a loss for what honest and true thing he could have possibly wanted.  

And that is my NYC story for the day.  Today I slept in pretty late, but at least the headache is gone and I feel more well rested.  It is time for another round of laundry, considering my shortage of casual clothing, and then perhaps because it is only supposed to be in the 80's today, I will run an errand.

In the realm of job search: things are still brewing.  I was turned down for a position for which I recently interviewed, but it was not my dream job so I am fine with that.  They were, however, so impressed with me during the interview that they will keep my resume on the top of the pile for other positions.  I am a little surprised, because I hadn't thought I was that stellar in the phone interview.  But, hey, I am pretty awesome, so I should expect that, right?  Right.