10 Tips for Living in NYC

1. Must be tall and skinny.  You can see over the crowds on the street, and will look good in all the latest fashions, such as this one.
2. Wear a black knit dress, preferably with a belt, cinched casually around your skinny little waist to show that you have no hips or ass.  Dress up with great accessories.
3. Buy cuffed sandals and wear them with your black knit dress.  It would be nice if they were gold or silver, or some shiny metallic colour, but black and brown ones will do just fine too.
4. Rush to get everywhere.  Run if you must, to show your sense of urgency.  Get exasperated if the train doors don't close quickly enough for you.
5. Be fashionable at all times and look effortlessly and perfectly styled.
6. If you are a man, impeccable grooming and having lots of quid to spend on women is a must.  Otherwise they won't give you the time of day.  
7. Grocery shop daily instead of weekly or even less often, unless you eat out on a regular basis.  Since you have to carry everything to the train or walk from the store to home, and carry the bags at least three flights of stairs, it just makes sense to not have a lot of heavy bags.
8. Do not be easily distracted.  There are lots of people, noises, lights, smells and shiny objects (sometimes in the form of overly sequined clothes), so you must be able to focus on walking so you don't walk into people.  
9. Have your iPod handy and in use at almost all times.  On the subway, while shopping or walking down the street, you must have those little earbuds in your ears.  It shows a lack of connection to the outside world and this is tre chic. 
10. Survival instincts (powers of observation and the art of imitation).  It's a jungle out there, kids.