Insomnia

I once wrote an abcedarian poem with this title.  It is a poem in which each line starts with the next letter of the alphabet, starting with A, onwards, hence...ABCedarian.  I have no idea why that just came to mind, except that presently it is 5:23am and I have not gotten so much as a wink of sleep in the last few hours.  My allergies are bothering me, my condo is full of boxes.  My closets are almost empty and I have three silly bands on my wrist. 

It was my big 3-0 birthday yesterday.  It wasn't the celebratory event I had always dreamed and hoped for. I guess there was a reason that, after my 29th birthday, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what I wanted to do for the next one.  So, I guess I didn't really have any expectations.  My biggest birthday present, and best, is that I get to start my dream job in a week!  

I am so profoundly excited about this that, even though each step of the way has been fraught (I love that word) with obstacles and general pain-in-the-assery (and I just made that one up), each time I think about getting to go to work next week Monday, I am nigh to ecstatic.  

One obstacle, other than packing, remains:  my drivers license expires and I would have to take a driving test to get a new license in my old state.  Why is this an issue?  Because I have 5 more days in this state and 4 more days of valid license and on day 5, need to rent a car to drive to my new state.  I doubt I will be allowed, so I need to figure out if I can schedule a driving test and get my license renewed, or if I can somehow finagle my way to a rental car without wasting the time and money.  I imagine this will take some amount of magic to accomplish.  Normally driving tests are scheduled a month in advance.  I need to start thinking of Plan B and C.  I may actually have plans A through H on this one.  

I suppose getting out of bed now and taking some Benadryl and starting to pack until I fall asleep wouldn't be such a bad idea.  I'm glad I started packing some things before I went to NYC.  It wasn't much, but it was the stuff in the kitchen, like glassware, that was kind of a pain.  

Other than the whole car rental thing, probably what is keeping me awake is every single task I need to remember to do before leaving.  And just the general logistics of the entire move.  Fortunately I have 17 days to figure out how to get stuff from my temp housing to my apartment as I won't have a car.  And things like dropping my car off and getting to temp housing is just going to have to worry about itself, to be perfectly honest.  Which reminds me, I should actually call MARTA to see how to get from here to there and most importantly, to work.  Ah...flying by the seat of my pants, as always.   

No place like home

So I lied in my last post.  There really is no place like home.  And it is good to be here with the cats.  Once again they were so happy to see me that they haven't given me a moment's peace since I got home.  Fiona is, in fact, licking my fingers as I type and head butting my arm in an effort to get me to pet her, followed by her pleading little meows.  Portia is laying, back to me, in front of me on the bed, as though she were a sentinel, waiting to ward off anything that could possibly harm me. 

The thing about home, though, is that you have to clean up after yourself and no one makes the bed for you.  Also, this place is not going to pack itself.  I have precisely one week to pack my entire condo.  It really isn't going to be too terribly difficult.  Just really, really boring.  I have already packed all the boxes that I currently have and a friend of mine is going to give me some more tonight.  I will also need some more tape, I think, before this adventure is over.  

I am trying to think how everything in my kitchen here is going to fit into my new place's kitchen.  It doesn't seem like I have a lot of stuff, but when you start packing it into boxes, it certainly makes it seem like a lot.  It is also easy to toss things out so you don't have to move them.  Suddenly, sentimentality goes out the window.  You really don't need to keep that red wax crayon that was your favourite when you were 7 and is now just a little nub of coloured wax.  

After a day of packing and cleaning and laundry, I am glad I have a whole week for this packing stuff.  Because every five minutes, a cat wants to sit on my lap or be petted.  

There's no place like home...

I have been away from "home" for so long now that when I do go back, it doesn't really seem like home to me.  I have been in this hotel room in Atlanta for a week now and it oddly feels like home.  When I was in NYC, wherever I happened to stay, felt relatively like home.  And now, I have my home for my first two and a half weeks in Atlanta booked and signed a lease for my next home after that.  With all this travelling and moving about, I wonder how it will feel to finally be settled in one place.  Such permanency.  

I realized the other day that I am going to be living in the state of Georgia.  How funny that sounded to me when I was thinking about it.  I am going to be a resident of the state of Georgia.  That sounds so different than, hey, I am going to move to Atlanta.  I also realized that I am basically orchestrating a 500 mile move, 4 states away, in about a week.  Seriously.  Below is my list of to do items.  Some are already done, but I guess this is a public exercise in making sure I am not forgetting anything.  But really also a huge thank you to all my friends and family who are making these things possible for me to do "on my own."  I really couldn't do it without so many people.

1. Find an apartment
2. Find a place til Sept. 7 because apartment won't be ready until then
3. Book a rental car to drive down to Atlanta
4. Pack up my belongings
5. Figure out what clothes and things I am bringing with me right away
6. Hire movers and schedule moving
7. Clean condo
8. Drive down to Atlanta
9. Return car to airport and take MARTA to temp housing place
10. START MY NEW AMAZING AWESOME JOB!!!

I really like step #10 the best.  Really, I do.  Every time I get a little discouraged about the whole process, I just think about starting my dream job on Monday.  If you wonder why I held out so long for a job...well, this is why.  

This whole transition hasn't been easy.  I wasn't sure I would find the right apartment and I found a nice, economical place in a very safe neighbourhood.  One-way rental cars seemed to be exorbitantly expensive and not convenient for me to pick up and drop off.  Then I found a reasonable one within walking distance to pick up and figured I could drop off at the airport and take the train back into town.  The next hurdle was finding temp housing that didn't cost an arm and a leg and was located near enough to public transportation.  And then, I discovered a website that does all the legwork for you, getting bids and finally found a cat-friendly place for only $22 a night, has all the amenities I need, and close to downtown and the MARTA.  

I have worried and fretted over all of these details, but in the end, I realize I haven't been brought this far just to have no place to stay.  Or a way to get in to work.  But seriously, I am ready for a breather.  

Also, I am just really writing this completely uninspired post because I am putting of my task for the day: tackling the MARTA.  So, let me stop writing and get on with it.

House Hunters: Day 3

I am very grateful for having a job, don't get me wrong.  But just getting a job doesn't instantaneously reverse or stop the effects of a lack of employment.  The longer the term of unemployment one serves, the longer the the effects last.  

Moving to Atlanta is a great new start for me and I am really looking forward to it.  I'm excited about my position, my new colleagues and a new city full of new friends, food and fun.  But it all comes at a cost.  I am leaving behind a condo with a mortgage attached and I am unsure when it will be rented.  I sold my car, so now I have to use the barely there transportation system in Atlanta.  This in turn makes a difference as to where I live and the length of my commute and affects my quality of life.  I have to live near a bus or train stop and a grocery store.  My social life will be pretty limited.  I can afford less apartment because of the mortgage and so I'll be downsizing and selling some belongings or donating them.  

I don't tell you this because it is a complaint.  I am telling you because I want you to understand what I am going through.  And if you are also a recovering from unemployment, I am sure that you know what I mean.  The excitement of working again is sometimes overshadowed by the daunting task of getting your life back on track.  

While I was job searching, I always dreamt of all the ways in which I would spend those paychecks: shoes, new clothes, a new car, makeup, dresses, going to nice dinners, a cat tree for the cats, birthday presents for my nieces and more shoes.  And that is just on the first shopping trip.  But in all honestly, it isn't like that.  

Paychecks will pay a mortgage and a rent, medical bills, my credit card balance, a new car (at some future point) and whatever other regular expenses I have.  Normal life won't exactly return for some time.  In the meantime, I am back to a one bedroom apartment with my kitties.

House hunting has presented a plethora of options.  Currently, the top contender is an 850 square foot recently renovated unit in a small, quaint place.  It is tucked away inconspicuously, just like I feel like I would like to be.  It isn't anything near the type of neighbourhood I have come to love.  In fact, quite the opposite.  I do feel a little sad, or maybe more than a little sad, that everything is about to change.  

In the midst of everything good and positive happening, there are still a lot of negative emotions like sadness, loss and loneliness lurking around every corner.  I have come to accept that these are both just part of life and particularly, part of this experience.  

It's kind of like those sweet and salty snacks...delightful.  

Back By Popular Demand

Okay, okay, a few of you asked that I continue the blog and I cannot disappoint a captive audience!  I will be updating and improving the blog to reflect my new status as employed, and you can all continue to follow the adventures, or misadventures, in Atlanta.

Since I am starting the 23rd already, I will be headed down to ATL again on Saturday in order to look for housing, for a week.  I haven't really even unpacked from NYC and the cats have not become unattached from my side and I am leaving already again.

I am looking forward to this trip in general as I am feeling much more excited about the entire process as I now have a plan!  Also, I get to see a great friend for a day or two who will be helping me.  He always makes me feel much calmer about things, and as I have not seen him in a year and half, it will be great to see him.

Tomorrow I go get drug tested and fingerprinted for my new position.  I have to go to some random place outside of my walkable area, so I will have to figure out a bus to take.  Seriously, I am wishing I had not sold my car, but I did and that is that.  

So, step 1: house hunt; step 2: pack, pack, pack; step 3: take the kittens and start the new job; step 4: buy a car; step 5: unpack and enjoy!

And now, I will go prep for step 1: bottle of vino, laundry and packing.  Oh, how fun!

150-something posts later...

...and I can say I am officially employed!!  I have been keeping very mum about the whole thing, although I did refer once or twice to the opportunity.  While I am immensely happy and excited about this, my dream job, it hasn't all really hit me yet.  

On August 23, I will begin working with my colleague and mentor, in a VP/Compliance Analyst position for a mutual fund complex.  I will be moving to Atlanta, GA for the opportunity and couldn't be happier to be in the south.  Okay, so really it is all about being among a lot of black men.

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me, kept up with me and prayed for me during this long, difficult year.  I am definitely a different person than when I started this blog and grateful to have finally found such an amazing opportunity to continue my career.  

I went on interviews while I was in NYC for this position.  I had also gone on an interview to Boston and they were the most brutal interviews I had ever been through in my life.  A pop Portuguese quiz even, from the director of the LATAM (Latin American) offices.  Turns out my Portuguese was better.  Although, I am fairly certain I failed the logic test, in which I also had to show my work.  I may have gotten the right answers, but probably through my own creative logic that made sense to no one else.  But having had that experience just helped me to see that, when I got to Atlanta, that job was going to be the right choice.  I love how that worked out; I was so worried I would have to choose between two great jobs, but fortunately the path was quite clear.

I am looking forward to starting a new chapter in Atlanta a week after my 30th birthday.  I don't know too many people there, just as I did not when I came to the Queen City, so it will again be a challenge, but one that I know I can easily conquer.  In fact, that is the least of my worries.  I am more concerned with finding housing and moving.  And, since I sold my car, I am going to have to buy a new one.

There is much to do between now and then, so for now, I bid adieu.  I am not sure I will continue to blog, although I could change the name of the blog and turn it into the Real Single Lady of Atlanta.... who knows.  Thanks for reading and thanks for your support...it has meant a lot knowing that perfect strangers read what I have to say.

Home is Where the Heart is

Life is once again as it should be.  Having been reunited with my cats early this morning, around 2am, I feel at home once again while at the same time missing NYC immensely.  My sister's wedding in Portland, ME this weekend was beautiful.  The setting was Portland Head Light in the background of the sailboat, within inches of the Atlantic Ocean.  I only say inches because if I thought, for a moment, that I was in the ocean, I would have had a panic attack.  The bride was gorgeous, the groom was handsome and the guests were delightful.

After a day of touring the Maine coast, we headed back to my "home" city.  We being my parents and I.  A long 16 hour car ride later, we arrived at Casa de Me.  It was so strange seeing the cats again and it took them just a little bit to adjust to me, sniff everything and get used to me again, but I could tell they were delighted to have company.  In fact, they have not left my side once since I have been home.  Fiona is perched next to me, within inches, anywhere I settle and softly purring almost constantly.  Portia is lazily lounging nearby as well and both follow me whenever I get up.  It feels like home, but then again it doesn't feel like home.

I had coffee with my friend who was cat sitting for me and we had so much to catch up on; but it was so easy and so wonderful to see him once again.  It was like no time had passed at all.

After spending six weeks in NYC, I feel particularly rejuvenated.  I am so fortunate that I had the means with which to do the trip, make friends and make a success out of the temporary stay.  No, I did not get a job in NYC, but I gained my confidence back.  It feels good knowing I made the right decision to go there.  Now, I feel like I can do anything.  I never have to wonder if I could make it in a big city.  I never have to look back and regret not taking a chance.

And, while all the personal satisfaction of doing a great thing is rewarding, what I am most happy about is seeing my friends again.  It has been a difficult road, this unemployment thing, losing friends, sometimes keeping myself secluded, being sad and depressed, and on and on....the whole range of emotions, ups and a lot of downs.  But the support I have had from everyone, whether they have seen me off or are welcoming me back, or both...I am eternally grateful and happy that I know some of the most amazing people.  

Between those who I have met and who have helped me in NYC, and those back home who have supported me through thick and thin, I have made a lifetime of friends.  EB, KK, GG, ED, AD, SL, SR, SR2, TS, SC....I'm sorry if I missed anyone, and the list could definitely go on.  

It is hard knowing that I will soon move on even from this place, to start a new chapter of my life.  But I am strong.  I am ready.  And as for where I will call home?  Well, home is where the heart is.