When you have even the slightest amount of Mexican genes, you get the latina body as well, I suppose. I'm from a line of curvy women. And actually, I'm really okay with curvy. I figure it makes me a real woman in some way.
I'm under 5' tall so while curvy is good, chubs is not. I have usually hovered around 95. My adult low was 89 when I returned from Brasil. My adult high was about 97lbs, after I came back and started eating again. I dropped back down to 92 when I was rowing, running and not eating a lot pre-tonsilectomy (because I could barely swallow anything more than soup and mashed potatoes). Today, I am 110. I'm definitely heavier than I want to be and nothing in my wardrobe really fits. Except maybe jeans and t-shirts and loose fitting dresses and jumpers. I particularly like the empire wasted items in my closet right now.
But I've really come to terms with my body shape. Sure, I should probably drop at least 10 pounds and I'd be happier if I lost 15, but I'm a shapely little bitty chica. I don't need to be stick skinny. Oh, and I actually now have ahem, bosoms. I was informed that if I talk about being 110lbs, that tall people would assume I have an eating disorder. Well, sorry, tall people, I'm not going to stop talking about my weight just to make you comfortable. I do not have an eating disorder...unless you count enjoyment of eating things with full fat content such as cream and butter and bacon and pancetta. You will also be happy to know that I can't make myself throw up either. I just can't do it. Yes, I have tried. Just to see if I could, not because I wanted to be skinny.
I will be going to the gym to lose at least 10lbs and will be watching what I eat. I want to be healthy and active. I don't need to be a stick. And expect to hear a few updates from me.
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Well, glad to hear that you wrap up your post with "healthy and active," and rejecting the whole "skinny" image idea. That seems the right attitude in the end. Because that's what it is really all about, right? Or should be. What it shouldn't be is about appearing a certain way. Though unfortunately for many women it is all about being "a stick"...or "skinny"...or "curvy"... or whatever (unrealistic) body image of what they "should" be has been burned into their mind...
ReplyDeletePersonally, of all the different women I have dated I think there is only one who didn't have some issue with her body. The only way she managed to largely free herself from "standards" set by society or friends was through ongoing conscious effort. I would like to think that my own efforts to counter the oppressiveness, by expressing my attraction to her as she was and not how she might think she should be, might have had something to do with it. However, I know better from all the other experiences that this issue has mental chains that something more than what a few loving words from one man might help break...
Your embracing of both looking at your eating habits and working out seems to be the way to go as well. Diet and fitness are two sides of that same wellness coin.
And good to see you aren't talking of "going on a diet." It's like the worst misuse of language ever in our society. We HAVE diets. We don't suddently "go on" them. Such language implies a temporary adjustment, when the issue is about what kind of eating choices we are making for a lifetime.
As far as weight is concerned, there are several things that conspire together to lie to us about it: the fact that we all fluctuate by at least a few pounds each day simply due to food and water; the (mis)calibration of scales; the degree of error inherit in many scales; the difference between the calibration of that home bathroom scale and the one at the physician's office....and the one at the gym, and; how much clothes or shoes one may or may not have been wearing at the time. Then there is whole issue of muscle weighing more than fat: exercise may burn fat but it also can add heavier muscle. Weight as measure is unreliable. On the other hand, clothes can tell a certain more unmistakable story. Frustration about fitting into clothes is certainly real. And from a practical standpoint it's difficult to have buy whole new wardrobes. However, is this measure as well really connected to our true health?
So much of your blog is about health. Physical, mental, emotional....and maintaining it throught challenging life circumstances. I hope that this one aspect of the "new me" is a positive one!