Patience is Not My Virtue

Patience is defined by dictionary.com as:

1.	the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

2.	an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.

3.	quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

Shakespeare wrote, "How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever not heal but by degrees." I agree with the Bard. Heartaches, owies and the like heal with nothing but time and maybe a little (read: lots of) tequila or Neosporin. But hundreds of band-aids, a few tequila shots and countless heartaches into life, I still can't learn patience when it comes to things over which I have no control.

Yesterday, I felt like my life is one of those choose your own ending books. The only thing is, I'm having trouble choosing and I can't flip to the end to see if I like it or not. And, I am just not patient enough to wait it out. I want to know now, if I'm accepted to Harvard. I want to fast forward through taking the GRE, I want to fast forward through the next few months, I want it to be...well, next year sometime, when there is more stability in my life. On the subject of patience, Edmund Burke asserts, "Our patience will achieve more than our force." I hope, immensely, that he is not right about this. I'm better at forcing things to bend to my will, than patiently awaiting the arrival of the things I want most in life. Which is why I much prefer a quip captured from the esteemed Margaret Thatcher, a woman I have long admired, "I am extraordinarily patient, provided that I get my own way in the end." Damn Titus Maccius Plautus whose platitude on patience amounts to, "Patience is the best remedy for trouble." Yes, Titus, I have troubles but not the patience with which to bear them. George Jackson advises, "Patience has its limits; take it too far and it is cowardice." I ascribe to this philosophy; how long can I idly wait about, waiting for the future, waiting for what will be, to be? Today I see the value, the virtue, of patience. While my patience has been tried (and seriously found wanting), I see something else. I look back and see those beautiful moments that would not have occurred if I received everything immediately. I've learned to lean on those close to me, to reach out with genuine and sincere appreciation for those who so selflessly offer friendship, assistance and anything they can to help me through this difficult time in my life, and validate my self-worth by virtue of their loyal friendship to me. Those happy little moments that pass by so subtly, in retrospect become the most precious and breathtaking of all. I don't have much patience, but I do have many magnificent moments to remember.