Ready or not...here I come...

It's been six days since my last post. Many things and decisions have transpired. Or, are in the process of transpiring. It does not appear that I have to worry about the job in Chicago. They have not called. I do not think I am ready to go to grad school and therefore am in the process of deciding not to take the GRE, yet, and perhaps will go off and do something like Teach for America or Peace Corp or find a job where I can travel and do some sort of international aid type thing. I'm taking suggestions. I really <3 my significant other person. I care about him very much. He is moving to LA. I just don't know if that's a possibility for me considering that if I don't go to grad school right now, I can't just lounge around. I really need to do something big and important (not just take another corporate job). This makes me kind of sad and wonder where or how things will go. He is rather lovely though. Thanksgiving was at my place this year, with my significant other person and two wonderful friends. All in all, the food was merely decent as I opted to not be overly gourmet (expensive) and made many things with stuff I already had at home. I love making things from scratch! I have put up a Christmas tree. I am unusually excited about Christmas this year. Very likely, because it will involve being home with the kitties, opening their presents for them, eating steak for dinner and whatever else. Oh, drinking wine. This past weekend I purchased window plastic and draft guards for my two doors. I am hoping that this will make my place a little more energy efficient, stay warmer and reduce my heating bill. September-October was $75, October-November was $83 and I am guessing November-December will be around $100. We'll see.

The End.

Food for Thought

I've done my fair share of complaining, whining and general exhibition of my unhappiness with my unfortunate situation. But as I drove by the local food pantry today and saw the long, long line of people standing out in the cold, waiting for their food, my eyes welled up with tears and my heart literally ached. I all but lost my breath. Yesterday, that local food pantry served over 2,600 families with about 108,000 pounds of food. That's about 7,300 people, about half of whom are children. They were opening again today from 8am til 6pm. Americans, on average, throw away over $600 of food every year. If you had to donate the cost of every food item that you threw out, how much would you donate at the end of the year? I

Cell Phones, Chicago and California

I had wanted to attempt a daily post, but alas, my attentions were once again distracted. This time by a full weekend spent with some of my greatest friends. And, the lovely significant other person who made my weekend by hanging out with my friends and me Friday night (graciously putting up with and participating in my crazy antics--finally, someone who doesn't mind them and in fact thinks they are funny), watching the UM/OSU game with me and my friends, taking me to dinner on Saturday night, and having breakfast with me Sunday morning. He is quite lovely, indeed. On my mind today first is my cell phone. I will admit to being "one of those people" who has an iPhone. In retrospect, I wish I'd never bought it. AT&T has bad 3G coverage, I drop calls a LOT and sometimes the phone just doesn't work. Also, the data plan is $30, the 450 minutes is $39.99, unlimited texting is $20. Basic service is $89.99 a month. I now need more than 450 minutes because only one friend I talk to is in the AT&T network that I can talk to for free (I think; I suspect it somehow doesn't really work that way). I need unlimited texting because yes, I really text that much. And the data plan with the iPhone is non-negotiable. With taxes and other nonsense fees, my bill is regularly $110+ a month. So I called AT&T to see if they would work with me, as I'm unemployed and need more minutes to call employers and the answer was pretty much a matter of fact, sorry, you're screwed because you have an iPhone. I can, however, pay to have the 900 minute plan and then get the 10 top people calling feature. Basically you choose 10 people you call the most and it's free to call them. The ridiculous thing is, if I could call those 10 people for free, I wouldn't need 900 minutes now, would I? No. Damn cell phone companies lure you, then lock you in. Until I decide what to do, my heat is staying off so I can handle paying my cell phone bill. Another item on my mind is a promising looking job in Chicago. Let's do a pros/cons list: Pros:

1. It's a job. The first job I have a decent chance of perhaps getting (at least an interview with) in four months.
2. It pays roughly what I was making before, plus benefits.
3. They are a very large company, with tens of billions in assets under management, with about 100 employees...sounds like my kind of firm.
4. Since they don't pay relo, I wouldn't have to repay it if I left before a year.
5. I'd be working again. And Chicago isn't a bad city compared to other possible options.
6. Flights from Chicago to LA are probably less expensive from here to LA.
7. I could go home more often since it'd only be a 3 hour train ride away.

Cons:

1. Chicago is really, really cold in the winter. Fierce winds, snow, the whole Arctic nine yards.
2. They don't pay relocation costs; I'd have to find a really cheap, cheap place to live with 2 cats. That's likely to be relatively tiny.
3. I'd have to rent out my condo or sell it; if I sell, I'd loose a LOT of money. It might take a while to find a renter, so I'd have to pay a mortgage plus rent in Chicago.
4. Chicago has a lot higher cost of living than where I am now.
5. It's not anywhere near my significant other person.
6. I would have fewer excuses not to go home since it'd only be a 3 hour train ride away.
7. I know people in Chicago, but haven't spoken to them in a few years. I'd have to make all new friends without really knowing anybody there.

It's going to be a tough, tough choice. There are other considerations here, but they are not for your eyes. Well, it depends on who you are, but mostly I prefer to keep a few personal elements private from all the prying eyes. Last on my mind is California. It's warm, promising and my signficant other person is moving to LA in February. I guess I don't have much more to say than that. Other than, if you have a job for me in LA, I'll take it.

Difficult, Easy

My mum always says, "It's all what you make of it." Today, I'm not making much of anything. I'm perhaps making a mess of my life and seeing it as immensely difficult. Everything, everything, everything is difficult. I need to send transcripts from three schools to prospective graduate schools. Since I haven't been in school for, oh, seven years, this involved getting my new student ID number from one school as they have stopped using students' SSN as a student ID. I had to reset all my logins for each school, choose a new PIN or password. This involved calling their technology help desks. If you've ever worked for a large corporation, you know what this can entail. I have to pay $7 per transcript to another school. And, two grad schools don't want your official transcripts delivered unless you're accepted, so one must upload the transcripts. This means getting a copy, scanning and uploading. Sadly, I do have all day for this kind of inanity. Relationships are so difficult. Friendships with people who have seemingly endless amounts of money to do anything or really just don't need to think about money. $50 for a concert, $15 for the weekly quiz night, happy hours, going out to dinner, shopping.... for me, it adds up to a lot more than my meager unemployment benefits. It pains me to write my mortgage payment check every month. It hurts to see the automatic withdrawals for my cell phone, cable and electric bills. It's difficult to have a social life. I tend to lean on my significant other person who doesn't go out too much, for human interaction and connection. I like this theoretically. Mostly because I adore him and when he is present, I feel like I never need to meet or be with anyone else for the rest of my life. It's really nice to just hang out and not worry about feeling guilty because he is paying and I can't afford to pay my fair share of the time. But, I'm a some-maintenance girl. Not high, not non, just a little bit. It's difficult for me to demand and receive what I want: to go out once in a while. Because then I'm viewed as the difficult, mean, yelling, demanding person. Once every other week, a movie, dinner, a walk around the mall...why is that difficult? Difficult to turn the heat on because it will cost money; difficult to pile on layers of clothes instead. Difficult to go shopping because food is expensive; difficult to find anything to eat when you're hungry. Difficult to explain to your family why you can't drive home for the holidays; difficult to justify spending $90+ in gas money for a day with your difficult family. Difficult to have a social life; difficult to be good company; difficult to see the end of all troubles; difficult to find a job; difficult to be a good friend or girlfriend; difficult to find your self-worth; difficult to get out of bed every morning and face the day; difficult to deal with complicated people and situations; difficult to enjoy life; difficult to even cry about it all. When everything else is difficult, one thing is easy: for me to feel sorry for myself. And I do, today. It's easy for me to feel alone, completely isolated. Easy to feel powerless, to struggle. Easy to figure out who your friends are. Easy to wonder when will this ever end? Easy...to give up.

Wednesday

Sorry, sports fans, for not posting a post yesterday. I was distracted. I wonder where the time goes? The past few weeks that I have been meeting my friend and writing partner have all but flown by. I have exactly 22 days until I take the GRE...again. I really need to buckle down and study a lot more. I think I have an inflated sense of confidence, having taken it once before, six years ago. I also need to have recommendations written for grad school and complete my essays. My motivation usually kicks in at the last minute. Fortunately, I have till January 15 to complete my applications. Oh, and I need to get transcripts to the schools. So, so much to do and I really do have all day to make it happen. I just need to get on it. Feel free to send kicks in the pants. They are welcomed.

10+ Reasons to be Unemployed

I really do just love lists:

1. You can spend all day honing your cooking and baking skills. Plus, your friends will love you when you demand they eat your food.
2. What better excuse to have a cocktail party? You have no where to be tomorrow.
3. You have all day to study for the GRE and write grad school essays. Unfortunately, most of the time you're completely distracted by #1 because it's way more fun with immediate gratification.
4. You have more time to devote to texting, calling, emailing and general harrassment of your significant other. This also means more time to endlessly analyze what he really meant by, "of course I like you" last night.
5. Since you have no where to drive, you do not risk running into deer in the middle of the highway, road or wherever else you could possibly run across (or into) them with a car. This is especially notable during the fall and winter months. If you can choose when to be unemployed, not a bad option.
6. You can "visit family." This is really the unemployed person's euphemism for, "I'm not going anywhere I just don't want to be seen or bothered while I lay on the floor for days, crying my eyes out." This typically happens immediately after unemployment commences.
7. Your pets, if you have any, will L-O-V-E you F-O-R-E-V-E-R because they will think you took 10 months off to be at home with them. If you don't have a pet, now is the time to get one or two. Fish don't count.
8. You will be able to learn everything you ever wanted to know via the History Channel, NatGeo, HGTV, TLC, Food Network etc., etc. Learn how to Design on a Dime, about the lives of The Little Couple, all about Cleopatra and the end of the Ptolemic era, bats, and much more.
9. You now have time to clean your entire house, top to bottom. This is likely to only occur after 1 through 8 are accomplished.
10. No more bad bosses. Need I say more?
11. Catch up on reading; particularly books you were supposed to read for your honors classes in college. Next time you hit up an alumni event or contact your old prof for a grad school recommendation, you don't have to pretend to understand the similarities and differences in the paintings and writings of contemporaries Thomas Cole and James Fenimore Cooper, respectively.
12. You will learn extreme budgeting skills. $1000 in benefits minus $800 for rent leaves you $200 for anything else you want to spend money on.
13. You will hone your Google techniques and be able to find info, images and more on the most obscure, abstruse, obfuscated, esoteric, tenebrous subjects in the world.
14. You will have time to learn words such as obscure, abstruse, obfuscated, esoteric, and tenebrous.
15. Do you need another reason?

A picture is worth a thousand words...