Continuance of Despair: Granted

A renewed sense of despair and hopelessness washed over me today as I took a phone call from the Boston recruiter.  I had emailed him to check in on the status of the interview.  When I spoke with him last week, he had mentioned if I didn't have an interview last week, it would take another 10 days.  So, when I heard nothing yesterday, I just sent a benign missive re-stating my interest and just checking in.  After all, this is going on week 4 and it is the first time I have emailed to ask what's going on.  

Approximately 2.4 minutes later, my phone rang.  He explained that they had certain hoops to jump through and he wasn't going to explain it to me, because I would be confused (nice: please doubt my comprehensive abilities before you interview me/hire me).  He said it was just something on their end, just one of the quirks of how the company is and had nothing to do with me.  I have no idea what that means.  He said he didn't want me coming all the way in for an interview if (and I can't remember his exact wording so I'm paraphrasing based off of my impression of what he really meant) there wasn't going to be a job for me there.  

This news sent me spiraling back into the abyss of despair and hopelessness.  Why is this happening to me?  Did I count on this job too much?  Have I been planning too much around this interview and planning to move already?  What did I do to get this bad karma?  Is God playing one big joke on me?

Even though I slept 12 hours last night, I want to take a nap.  I feel exhausted from feeling all this emotion and now I want to go lay down and ignore the world for another hour or two.  Feeling like this makes me aware of every negative thing I am going through: I dwell on my friends not calling me any more, even though I try to reach out to them.  Leadership class tomorrow and feeling I have nothing business like to wear (particularly anything green as it's St. Patrick's Day) and my shoes are all in various states of disrepair and shabbiness, and being worn out...just as I am.  

Well...I haven't given up on this Boston thing; I cannot give up hope now because if I do, I've got nothing left.