I Became a Fan of "I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook"

Yes, I became a fan of that group today.  Damn Facebook.  It's great for some things...like, reaffirming your ex was a jackass and why you're still glad you broke up.  Venting in your status update.  Posting pics of your most glorious moments.  Getting back in touch with your cousins. Celebrating those special moments (and kids and weddings).  

What it's bad for: when you randomly type in that guy's name...that guy that from the moment you saw him walk in the room you were head over heels, smitten like a kitten and there was no going back.  That guy that is so handsome he to you he seems out of reach, but is real enough to touch, to feel, to hurt you... That guy that just has it all.  Women love him.  Men love him.  He makes a lot of money.  He lives in California.  He makes your heart skip a beat.  Swoon finally has a personal application; it's how he made you feel with that first kiss.  Mmmm....  And even though it's been more than a half a year since you last saw him, just seeing that boyish grin, that hot body, that beautiful brown skin...  it's like reliving every moment you ever spent with him.  Your face lights up, just seeing his happy, glowing face.

And then.  Reality.  He just used you and while it was mutual for a while, he suddenly made it weird by implying that you were "comodotizing" him.  Sure, you like the company of God's gift to women, then you resent that he knows it and flaunts it.  You remember those sweet, soft moments just laying together talking and sharing and tender kisses, the way he wrapped you up in his arms.  You're just never going to forget the way his skin feels, the way he smells and the way he is just crazy and funny and smart and everything, absolutely everything you ever wanted in a man.  Everything.  It was even cute how you fought because he is so obnoxious and then you made up. 

Sometimes you feel "lucky" to be counted among one of his; one that he deigned to descend to and use.  It all would have ended fine if your "understanding" had been understood by you both.  Then you feel angry that you ever felt like you weren't "good enough" for him.  Angry that he made you feel that way.  Angry that he's really living the life: money, travel, doing whatever he wants, women, doing whomever he wants...

Then you realize, there's a fullness he will never experience.  There's a depth he will never reach.  There's a richness he will never have.  There's a woman he will never touch.  You.  He can't have it all, after all...he can't have you.