Snark Snark Snarky Snark

I really wish I would have taped this call I had today.  Now I feel utterly snarky.  Yes, I love the work snarky.  What other word in the English language begins with "sn?" 

So this call was about my commitment to the leadership program I committed to.  Did I mention I committed to a commitment?  And this commitment will almost definitely lead to me a job, as the director would have me believe.  My fellow participants will be there to support me and help me through this difficult time.  Wha?  A bunch of high schoolers have the emotional intelligence to do that?!  Had I known this when I was in high school, why, with that amount of emotional intelligence and passion to change the world...I just might have changed the world.  

What I hate most, is when people try to compare their "career transition" to yours.  Particularly when they are 25 years older than you, haven't been "in transition" in this economic environment and are married with kids and practically always have been.  Nope, I'm sorry. You can't tell me that I'll be the one losing out on the most if I quit this program while you simultaneously berate me because you too, as a non-profit organization, will be losing income if I withdraw my participation.

Seriously, these were the most unsupportive women with whom I've ever had the displeasure of an uncomfortable conversation.  I will be the one losing out on the most?  Why?  Because it's considered losing if you reject high school-ish, cliquish, anti-OTR, I'm here just for my resume I don't care about you behaviour?   Ha ha ha.  Try again maties.

And, sitting at home, not interacting with others with a crappy phone (yes, her words, not mine) is not a good alternative to being in their program.  Sorry ladies, the more you try to force this horse to your corporate kool-aid infused water I'm gonna be buckin' and snortin' and stompin'.  I do have other activities in which I participate, thank you very much.  I do have other contacts and colleagues who could actually set me up with a job in my very own industry.  Do I need you so much?

And thank you so much, for telling me that the only way to get a job in this environment is to network and to know people.  Really?  Is that why they say it's who you know, not what you know?  Thanks for clarifying, I never knew exactly what that meant.  And do you really think these high schoolers who offer me jobs in data entry and park and rec type work really really know of a high powered investment industry job?  Okay, well if that's the case then tomorrow I shall expect to see monkeys and pigs flying.  

Here, read this article about the realities of returning to the working world.  And while you're at it, read this one about what I have to look forward to if I don't find a job relatively soon, and what my aunt and millions others are experiencing.  And you are really going to act like you know what's best for me?  Really?  You're going to tell me that you know where I should be putting my emotional savings (of which I have very little)?  Is putting up with childish, I'm avoiding you, you live in the wrong neighbourhood, and you have to pay for this shit really, I mean really, going to be my best personal and emotional investment?  Okay, if you say so, I will believe you.  Because you sound like you really know what you're talking about.

Basically the arguments for me returning to this program were a) [I don't care if you  now have $4,000+ in hospital bill debt] you agreed to pay for this [hogwash] and we are counting on your financial obligation to us [to continue this tom foolery]; and b) ... you will be losing out on all [the fine, high school-esque behaviours that you got more than enough of when you were actually in high school, and] the job opportunities this [cliquish] city can offer you.

Seriously, I need to get the hell outta dodge and the sooner the better.  I might self-implode from all the snarkiness I feel right now.  And, pretty much continue to feel while living in this lovely city.